5 Simple Steps to Make Sure Child Custody After Divorce Doesn’t Get Ugly
Your marriage isn’t working anymore, and you’ve finally worked up the courage to do something about it.
You’d like nothing better than to punish your ex for breaking your heart, wasting your time and turning your life upside down. But overwhelming research suggests that children who are used as pawns during separation and divorce can suffer long-lasting emotional, psychological and developmental harm.
If that isn’t a compelling enough reason for you to keep things clean, it may be because you think it’s impossible. How can anyone keep their cool in the face of a vindictive spouse?
It is possible – though it will involve commitment. Here are five things you can do to make sure Child custody after divorce doesn’t turn into a war, with your children the casualties.
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Be Honest with Yourself
Are you familiar with the biblical story about the women who went before Solomon, each declaring they were the mother of the same child? The one who was willing to give the child up rather than cutting them in half proved to be the true mother.
Are you trying to gain custody just to punish your spouse or prove your point? Look deep inside: are you emotionally cut out for raising the children and making the best decisions concerning their care, by yourself?
Knowing that research indicates both parents are important to every stage of a child’s development, do you really want to deprive your children of the other parent’s presence on principle?
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Own Your Part
Counselor Beth Weissenberger, writing for the Huffington Post, notes that many divorcing couples get locked into a Cycle of blame and revenge because they see themselves as innocent victims of their terrible spouse. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it really does take two. If you come up short soul-searching your own mistakes, talk to trusted friends and family or even a professional counselor who can tell you the truth about where you might have gone wrong in your marriage.
When you are willing to admit your own faults, you can forgive the other person – and either work things out, or divorce amicably.
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Communicate with Your Spouse
Don’t wait until the papers are served to admit that you are considering divorce. Having that honest talk instead of leaving your spouse in the dark will prevent a lot of resentment and hostility later on.
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Learn Your Lesson
Divorce rates are significantly higher for second and third marriages, probably because people are still out there seeking perfection while refusing to look at why they keep repeating the same mistakes.
Vow to come out of your divorce a wiser, more humble person, and you will ensure your custody arrangement doesn’t turn ugly.
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Protect Yourself
It’s not always possible to have a loving, respectful divorce despite your best efforts, and this is where an experienced and compassionate child custody lawyer can make sure your rights are fully represented.
At Fine & Associates Professional Corporation, the first step towards closure is a conversation about your current situation and your needs. Next, we can decide together on the best course of action for you and your family. We have assisted numerous parents through the complicated and often painful process of fighting for custody of their children. Contact us for a free consultation, and let us help you walk forward confidently and positively.