5 Tips for Co-Parenting with Your Ex
One of the most complex parts of going through a divorce is trying to co-parent positively with your ex-spouse. Divorces and separations are emotionally draining, so knowing that you need to make decisions with a person whom you’ve broken up and with whom you may find difficult to be around can be challenging. Here are a few tips for co-parenting to make it a little easier for you and help you provide a positive environment for your children.
1. The children come first.
No matter what differences you may have with your ex-spouse, you must put them aside in the best interests of your children. Co-parenting is about ensuring you are doing what is best for your children, even if you think (personally) that something else should be done. Try to make sure you are always putting your children first.
Related: Online Child Support Calculator, Ontario
2. Find effective ways to communicate.
One of the best ways to effectively co-parent is to find ways to communicate that work for both parties. If the divorce is recent, then it may be too difficult to communicate face-to-face because emotions are running high. That’s ok – it can take time to find your right way. So, if face-to-face communication isn’t possible, try communicating in another way, such as through text or on the phone – the idea is to find a form of communication where both parties can effectively articulate their side and work together to find the best solution.
3. Work together on the big things, and don’t sweat the little things.
You will need to make many decisions about your children: dinner plans, weekend plans, soccer or baseball (or both) and so on. Try to work with your partner on the big decisions (like schooling and medical decisions) so that you are on the same page for the big things.
You will have different parenting styles (and that’s ok) for things like screen time or ice cream after dinner, so you don’t need to get hung up on those things. But work together to ensure you are on the same page regarding the big life decisions for your children.
4. Respect the parenting schedule.
Whether you mutually decided on the schedule for your children or the courts did, you need to respect it. Adhering to the agreement allows each parent to organize their time and figure out work arrangements and childcare if needed. Further, adhering to the agreement shows that you respect the other parent, and their time is just as important as your own – especially the time they are spending with your children.
5. Do not speak poorly of your ex-spouse.
It can be very tempting to bad mouth your ex-partner because you are hurt or angry at something they did. It’s important to remember, though, that even though you are not involved with you ex anymore your children very much are. Bad mouthing them can put your children in a really bad spot because they feel loyal to you and don’t want to hurt your feelings but yet they also have a positive relationship with their other parent. As much as possible, keep your negative feelings about your ex-spouse away from your children.
Contact Fine and Associates today.
Are you going through a divorce, or do you need help with a co-parenting agreement? The Toronto family lawyers at Fine and Associates can help you craft an arrangement that works for you and is in the best interests of your children. Call us today to speak to a family lawyer or schedule a free consultation here.