Top 5 Myths About Divorce, Debunked
Divorce can be a difficult and emotionally charged process. For many, it’s made more challenging by the myths and common misconceptions surrounding it. These can lead to stress and confusion.
As a Canadian divorce lawyer, I’ve encountered countless clients who’ve been misled about their rights, or have misunderstood the law. Let’s set the record straight by debunking five of the most common misconceptions about divorce in Canada.
Myth 1: Divorce Always Means a Courtroom Battle
The Reality: Movies and TV shows often depict divorce as a dramatic courtroom showdown between warring spouses and their lawyers. But the reality is quite different: Court is typically a last resort, for when couples cannot agree on key issues (like property division, spousal support, or parenting arrangements).
In Canada, most divorces are actually resolved outside of court through negotiation, mediation, or arbitration. These methods of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) are not only less stressful, but they are also more cost-effective and quicker than a traditional trial. They are the best chance for couples to reach a fair and amicable settlement without ever having to set foot in a courtroom.
Related: The Divorce Mediation Process
Myth 2: The Mother Always Gets Custody of the Children
The Reality: Canadian Family court rulings prioritize the best interests of the child, not the gender of the parent. Courts no longer assume that mothers are inherently better caregivers than fathers. Instead, decisions about parenting time and decision-making responsibilities are based on what arrangement will best serve the child’s needs.
Today, shared parenting arrangements—where both parents have significant time with, and responsibility for, the children—are increasingly common. The focus is on maintaining a strong relationship between the child and both parents, provided it is both safe and in the child’s best interests.
Related:
- How to Get a Child Custody Agreement Instead of a Child Custody Battle
- Child Visitation Rights in Ontario
Myth 3: Adultery by One Spouse Guarantees a Bigger Settlement for the Other
The Reality: While adultery may have emotional implications, it has only limited legal ones.
Adultery may be cited as one of the legal grounds for divorce, but under Canadian law it has no bearing on financial settlements or property division. In other words, if one spouse committed adultery, this does not mean the other one will get a larger settlement, or a more favourable division of marital assets.
Instead, the Divorce Act and the Ontario Family Law Act both follow a “no-fault” approach to issues like spousal support and division of property. The reasons for the marriage breakdown are irrelevant when determining these matters; the punishment of bad behaviour is not the goal. Instead, financial and property decisions are based on established legal principles designed to ensure fairness.
Related: How Does Adultery Affect Divorce Under Canadian Law?
Myth 4: You Can’t Get Divorced Without Your Spouse’s Agreement
The Reality: In Canada, you do not need your spouse’s consent to get a divorce. If one of you wants to end the marriage, you can proceed with a divorce application even your spouse does not agree.
The most common ground for divorce is living separately for at least one year. Once this separation period is complete, either of you can apply for a divorce, regardless of the other’s wishes. The court’s role is to ensure that legal requirements are met, and that issues like child support and property division are appropriately addressed. The court’s role is not to force unhappy couples to stay married.
Related: What Are the Grounds for Divorce in Ontario?
Myth 5: Divorce Ends All Financial Ties Between Spouses
The Reality: A Divorce Order legally ends your marriage, but it does not automatically resolve your financial issues like property division, spousal support, or child support. These matters must be addressed separately through either a court order, or a separation agreement.
Even after your divorce, ongoing financial obligations can subsist. For example, one of you may owe the other spousal support for months or years after the divorce is final. Child support also continues until that child is no longer dependent.
Related:
Myth 6: You Can Get a “Speedy Divorce”
Reality: Divorce isn’t a process that can be rushed. Even in the best-case scenario where you and your spouse agree on everything, the legal process takes time.
This includes being eligible for a divorce in the first place. That’s because the most common ground for divorce is Canada is living separate and apart for at least one year. Add litigation to the mix (not to mention an unwillingness by either of you to resolve things reasonably) and this can stretch out the timeline for a few additional years.
Another myth under this category, is that you need your spouse’s permission to get divorced. This is simply not true. You just need to show that your marriage has broken down irrevocably – and the law recognizes a few ways this can be proven, including the full year of living separately.
Related: I Want to Get Divorced as Quickly as Possible
Myth 7: Lawyers Only Make Things Worse
Reality: You may worry that involving lawyers will make divorce more adversarial and costly, but the reality is that Family Lawyers can be instrumental in helping you and your spouse reach a fair and efficient resolution.
Collaborative family law, for example, involves specially-trained lawyers who work alongside other professionals to minimize your conflict and especially your costs. Also, the Ontario Family Court system has a Mandatory Mediation process that includes information sessions to encourage cooperative problem-solving between you, rather than immediately resorting to litigation.
Lawyers can also help overcome another misconception: That a divorce automatically finalizes everything between you. While it’s true that a divorce order officially ends your marriage, it does not address other key issues arising from your relationship, such as property division, spousal support, child support, or parenting arrangements. These matters require separately-negotiated agreements or court orders, which you must often be negotiate before (or in tandem with) your divorce proceedings.
Related: The Benefits of Divorce Mediation
Conclusion
Although these myths are prevalent, it’s important to understand the realities. If you’re considering divorce or have questions about your rights and responsibilities, consult our divorce lawyers to get professional advice that can help you make informed decisions, and protect your interests.