Lessons for Separated Parents: Don’t Drag in Service Providers
Parents undergoing separation can easily drag others into their problems. Not only are the children often drawn into the situation, but professionals are brought into the circle too. Parents are looking for support in their claims for custody and think that letters and verbal support from professionals in the life of the child can increase their chances of having their way.
What are some of the examples of this behavior? Parents ask physicians and dentists to provide letters of which parent has brought the child in for their regular appointments. They request letters from day care providers asking about behavior related to specific parents dropping off the child. In some cases, the parents request actions beyond that of a letter, trying to recruit the professional to be on their ‘side’.
Children that are involved in these types of situations can be affected by the strain on the professional relationship that develops. The doctor or dentist may choose to stop seeing the patient and the teachers or day care providers may experience anxiety as they fear harassment from the parents. This affects the child even further, as the relationship with the caregiver, teacher, doctor or dentist may no longer be seen as a ‘safe place’.
Are the letters from these professionals helping or hindering when it comes to the court case between the parents? In most cases, letters like this are not a helpful source for the parent in the case. Rather, they can demonstrate the parents’ inability to define boundaries by asking for this type of support in the first place.
In case that information is required via letter from one of the service providers caring for the child, parents should step away and let service providers contact the professional, rather than contacting the professional personally. This can help to provide a neutral situation for information being required and help to maintain the relationship between the service provider and the child.
In cases where separated parents are involved in a custody battle, parents can use a collaborative family law approach that can help settle disputes. The lawyer or experts that are taking part in the case can send a request for information on behalf of both parents, helping to come to a resolution. In these situations, the service provider should be reassured that their involvement is going to require nothing more than the letter being submitted. Using this technique, parents can ensure that the services are intact and the children are protected.
Don’t be afraid to move forward with your life. Fine & Associates have the right divorce lawyers and family law lawyers in Toronto to help you get started today.