Learning to Deal With Restricted Access
Lots of parents with highly restricted access harbor extreme anger towards the custodial parent, or towards the related courts, institutions or agencies. Nonetheless, their predicament might be more a result of their reaction to issues, rather than the issues themselves. The actions of other people are not an excuse for your own behavior, if you act in a criminal or inappropriate way. To increase the chance of a long term relationship with your children, take heed of this advice: A family law attorney should be able to answer any questions you may have. The Toronto divorce lawyers at Fine & Associates are well experienced and are here to help you through your trials.
Use the Available Restricted Access
Make the most of the time you get with your children. This lets them know that you love them. This is more important than pursuing vendettas. Toronto divorce lawyers deal with these kinds of problems all the time. Whether it be child support or another matter of family law, get in touch with us today.
Control Your Emotions
Do not talk badly about the other caregiver or parent. Bad mouthing another person always reflects poorly on you. Focus on your children and your relationship with them. Never try to get your children to say things that might help your case. Inevitably, this will backfire and only serve to increase their mistrust towards you. This video explains more:
Always behave in a positive way around your children. Your children want to see you, rather than the negative feelings you have about the situation. Furthermore, your negativity might alienate them, which will damage your relationship with them over the long term.
Refrain from screaming, yelling, or hitting your children. Take the time to learn behavioral management techniques. Be aware that your children idolize you, thus the way you act in every area of your life is important. Your children will be influenced by what you do, or by what they hear about you, so act appropriately at all times.
Make use of Options Beyond Restricted Access Visits
If permitted, in between your visits, keep in touch with your children by email, letters or telephone. Once again, keep your emotions in check and focus on listening to your children. Remember special occasions (like birthdays) with a present and/or card that is suitable for their interests and age.
Keep a Journal of Your Life
If you have no access to your children, you can still keep a life journal to show what you did on their birthdays, or other special occasions. Include photos and notes in your journal, so you can share memories of the good times. Stay positive and include any birthday cards you wanted to send.
Then, when you do see your children at a later date, you can show that they were forever in your mind and have a proper catch up. This will allow you to develop a relationship with your children, when they are older. This will partially compensate for the restricted access situation, and reduce some of the bitterness you may still harbor.