Access And The Adolescent… Issues on Both Sides of the Fence
Adolescent access introduces parents to a whole world of change. Parents will now have to contend with the wishes of their growing child. This also means that certain routines will have to be adjusted based on the requirements of your adolescent child, possibly even living arrangements. A Toronto divorce lawyer can assist you and your problems. Pick up the phone today to speak with one of our family lawyers.
Changes Brought About by Adolescence
Adolescent children often go through many changes in their school and social lives. The demands of school and their time with friends definitely has an impact on their lives with their divorced parents, especially the access parent. Some teens may even want to work in between school and this can bring about increased pressure with the teen not having enough time to spend with the access parent.
How Can the Access Parent Deal With Adolescent Access Issues
The access parent has two options, the first (which is also recommended) is to be considerate and flexible with their time in order to facilitate the child. Alternatively, many access parents see this as the custodial parent manipulating the child. The access parent then begins to harbor feelings of hostility. They no longer feel like accommodating the child and then start to dictate on a number of related issues – which only pushes the child away from them.
How Should the Access Parent Respond to Adolescent Access
Access parents should be more understanding of their growing children. This means having spontaneous and impromptu dinners with their growing child. This may also mean that you should get onto your child’s chat list to keep in touch, when meeting isn’t possible. When a child can see that the parent is considerate and understands that their lives are changing, it makes the relationship between the two – even better. This also puts the access parent in a better position to give advice and direction in future.
The Sins of the Parent Can Come Back to Haunt Them
In many cases, the adolescent child can find out that the custodial parent has lied to them about the access parent. This brings on feelings of resentment and anger in the child and they tend to retaliate in more ways than one. One of the most significant changes that can take place is that the child will insist on living with the access parent.
You need to understand that your child is eventually going to grow up – even if that eventually comes too soon. You should also try to avoid lying to your child about your ex – out of resentment and spite, as it always comes back to bite you! If you would like to maintain a meaningful relationship with your child, then deal with adolescent access as ethically as you possibly can.