Will Divorce Make Your Ex a Better Parent

Parenting after divorce can be one of the most difficult aspects of splitting from your spouse.

Depending on the circumstances, co-parenting may force you to deal with complications that place obstacles between children and parents. In other cases, when couples divorce, one or both partners may end up becoming better parents because they no longer pour energy into fighting to save the marriage.

There’s no guarantee that your ex will become a better parent after divorce, but both of you can do your best to put the children first during this strenuous ordeal.

Remember That Emotions Run High During Divorce

One of the worst things you can do to your children during divorce is allow your negative emotions to take over. This can lead to parents doing things that they will regret. If you find yourself overwhelmed with negative emotions, try to find an appropriate channel to vent. Speaking with a friend, family member or a therapist can help you deal with painful aspects of divorce, preventing you from passing the stress along to your children.

Since your child shares genetics with your ex, talking negatively about their other parent may be interpreted as speaking poorly of your child. If you’re attempting to win your children’s favor by making your ex look bad, you’re simply making things worse for yourself. Children make their own determinations as they grow older in terms of how their parents behaved during one of the most difficult times in their lives.

Obsession over an ex can lead to the kids being used to spy on or communicate with the former spouse. Forcing your kids to be an active part of the divorce process between you and your spouse will make them feel uncomfortable at the very least. In the worse case scenario, using your kids against your spouse will damage your child’s relationship with both parents, perhaps even causing a rift between siblings.

Consistency Makes Both Parents Better After Divorce

Creating consistency for your children during and after divorce should be the mutual goal of both parents. Arguments over when visitation takes place should be solved ahead of time, through conscientious scheduling that allows your child to spend time with both parents.

Even though the divorce process nearly always results in some sort of adversarial behaviour, when it comes to the kids, you should try to do your part to reach out to your ex to help with parenting. If you feel apprehensive, remember that you’re doing it for your child. The better the parenting that your child receives from your ex, the fewer problems you and your child will experience after the split up.

Rules agreed between the both of you should be upheld, regardless of who is parenting the child. Children should always follow the direction of the parent that they’re staying with to avoid arguments and power struggles.

It may be tempting to be the “cool parent”, but you should definitely avoid making your ex look bad by letting your kids stay up late or have a dinner made of candy and chocolate. This will create resentment in the short and long term. At first, kids are likely to resent the strict parent and in the long run your children will remember that you tried to win their favor by being a bad parent.

Legal Assistance Reduces Friction

Hiring a lawyer with experience and expertise in divorce law increases the chances that you and your ex will work the details out as amicably as possible, reducing the impact of divorce on your kids while helping to make your ex a better parent.

Fine & Associates Professional Corporation is a well-respected Toronto Law Firm that prides itself on providing quality personal service and favourable outcomes in Family Law and Divorce Law.

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