Managing Your Child’s Expectations While Separated During COVID

The COVID-19 has put stress on all parents in ways that many could not expect. For parents already dealing with the stress associated with being separated and having to come to agreements with their ex over co-parenting issues, there are some unique challenges.

Children may find that their routine is disrupted, and expectations may have to be managed. The following are a few tips to help your family during this difficult time.

Communicate and be flexible with your ex.

Children of divorce do best when their parents can be amicable with each other. And while this may seem like a tall order for many co-parents, it is in the children’s best interest if you can do so.

As much as possible, be cooperative with your ex. Your children should feel as though they have one parenting world even though their parents may live in separate households. To achieve this, you will need frequent communication, agreed-upon rules, and you will need to be flexible with each other. You may need to discuss issues that were non-existent before the pandemic, such as how to cope with online learning or whether it is okay for a child to visit with a family member who is a frontline worker.

Coping with your children’s anxiety or frustration.

Ensuring the mental well-being of your children is paramount during this time. Some children may be experiencing anxiety over online learning or even about the virus itself. Other children may feel frustrated about not seeing their friends or engaging in activities like sports, dance, etc.

Communication about this with your ex is essential to ensure that you both give your children consistent messaging. Reassure your children that the present situation will not last forever. Then, work with your ex to find an interim solution – such as online dance classes or a weekly sporting practice with mom or dad in the backyard or local park.

Manage disruptions to visitation schedules.

One of the biggest challenges for children of separated parents is disruptions to their visitation schedules. It may be that one parent’s home provides a better environment for online learning. Or one parent may be an essential worker, which makes it more difficult for them to spend time with their children right now.

The thought of spending less time with your children can bring on your own feelings of anxiety, so it is important to ask yourself what is in the child’s best interests.

If your children are old enough, you may even wish to ask them what they think would be best.

Remember, changes to visitation schedules during this time can be changed back when the crisis passes.

Agree on what constitutes risky behaviour.

As the province begins to open up, more activities will be permitted. Co-parents should communicate with each other and agree on what activities they feel comfortable with for their children. For example, is it ok for children to play outside with their cousins? What about participating on sports teams once allowed again?

Remember to make these conversations frequent as the view of both you and your ex may change as case numbers change or as vaccination rates increase.

Present a united front to your children on these decisions but be sure to let them know that your decisions could change as the situation does.
Contact Fine and Associates today.

While it is best to work with your ex on issues concerning visitation schedules and how to best parent through a pandemic, we know that this isn’t always possible. If you require the assistance of a family lawyer in Toronto to help you come to an agreement with your co-parent, we are here to help. Call us today to schedule a consultation.