Why Your Child’s Adjustment to Separation and Divorce Depends on YOUR Adjustment
When a marriage ends, it’s hard on both the partners. Your dreams of spending the rest of your lives together have disappeared.
Divorce can be especially difficult for children. Younger children and teens might not understand what’s happening. Their world has changed drastically, and they’re not sure how to proceed. Your children will be taking their cues from you, so your adjustment to separation and divorce will influence their responses.
Good Coping Skills
How you deal with a situation is referred to as “coping skills.” You can either deal with a situation well or poorly. Your coping skills will shape your children’s coping skills.
Coping well with a situation would be admitting what’s going on and taking steps to reduce the negative impact of it. For example, sitting down with your children and letting them ask you questions about the separation or divorce is a good way to help them deal with the uncertainty and fear they feel.
Answer their questions calmly and thoughtfully. Make it clear that the separation or divorce is not their fault. Also, reassure them that you and their other parent still love them and will still be there for them. Explain to them how the new living situation is going to work, but emphasize that you’re going to do everything possible to minimize disruptions to their daily routine.
Actions to Take
There are steps you can take to make the transition easier for everyone. These actions will show that you are coping as well as possible with the separation or divorce.
One of the most important things you can do is be supportive and encouraging of your children’s relationship with your former spouse, provided it is safe to do so. As long as their other parent isn’t abusive or endangering their lives, he or she must still be actively involved with your children.
Another crucial part of a smooth transition is that both you and your former spouse are reliable. If you say that you’ll pick the children up at a certain time, make sure that happens. Your children need to know that they can still count on you.
Finally, allow your children to grieve. Separation and divorce are extremely upsetting, and your children need the opportunity to process them emotionally. Give them the chance to express their feelings without interrupting them. When they feel as though you are truly listening, they’ll be honest with you.
Fine & Associates: Your Family and Divorce Lawyers
Are you considering getting a divorce? Contact Fine & Associates today at 647-496-6057. Our experienced team of lawyers specializing in family and divorce law is ready to help you every step of the way. We understand that this is a difficult and stressful time for you and your family, and we treat you with respect, professionalism and courtesy.
Our lawyers fight for your rights to ensure that you get everything you deserve, such as custodial rights and child support payments. At Fine & Associates, your best interests come first.