When Couples Don’t Want to Stay Married, is Divorce the Only Option?

Not All Couples Live Happily Ever After

Despite the best of intentions, not all couples live happily ever after.  When couples drift apart, they often think they have two options: stay married and stay miserable; or divorce.   In fact, couples have a third option – a legal separation.   Couples can remain legally married for an indefinite period of time.  Warren Buffet, for example, separated from his first wife in 1977, however, they remained married until Susie Buffett’s death in 2004.

Reasons Couples Drift

The reasons couples grow apart are as varied as the people involved.  They can include:

• the children leaving home;
• career demands; or
• pursuing other interests.

Just as there is no one reason couples divorce, there is no one reason couples drift apart.

Growing Apart

Sometimes couples realize they have grown apart.  Some couples choose to explore ways to mend their marriage.  Other couples are completely comfortable with the current state of their relationship with their spouse.  Still other couples try to mend fences, but, in the end, realize they just cannot continue living with their spouse.

Reasons Couples Stay Married

There are any number of reasons couples choose to stay married – even as they actively pursue other interests independently.  Couples may choose to stay married for financial reasons.  For example, if one spouse suffers from a long-term illness, and the other spouse has a generous health insurance policy from their employer, the couple may choose to stay married.  Additionally, since pension benefits tend to increase over time, there may be other financial advantages to staying married.

Alternatively, the couple may choose to remain married for religious reasons.  Cultural reasons are also often cited as a reason to stay married.  Many couples find they still love and care for their spouse, but they no longer wish to pursue a life together.  Sometimes, couples just don’t see any reason to file for a legal divorce.

How to Stay Married While Living Separately

If you are considering separating, but think there may be some advantages to remaining legally married, you are not alone.  Whether you are ready to live separate lives, or are merely considering a trial separation, a lawyer can help you hammer out the details.  A separation agreement protects both parties to the marriage.  It defines the expectations of both parties.  Topics can include:

• the division of property;
• the use of the family home;
• the parameters governing who gets to use the beach house, and when;
• if there are children at home, the agreement can cover parenting time;
• child support, where applicable; and / or
• alimony.

If You Are Considering Divorce Options, Contact Us

If you are considering divorce options, consider a legal separation instead.  This allows you to retain the benefits of marriage, while pursuing separate lives. Fine & Associates has the experience you need to assist you in drafting a separation agreement that suits the needs of you and your family – click here to contact us.