Divorce and Two Families
It goes without saying that divorce will split a family, but less thought is typically given to what will happen down the road to the issue of both halves. In the event that both parties (as well as the attorneys for both parties) agree to a conclusion, dividing up assets and child custody, there is little reason to think that the issue will be re-examined in the future; that until a child turns 18 and heads off to college the agreement will hold up for all family members involved. This, however, is not always the case.
The Two Family System in Divorce Cases
Rarely does a divorce end with equal time of child custody between parents. Typically the mother gains most (or all) custodial rights while the father gets limited visitation for his child; while the situation is sometimes reversed for opposite genders, it is atypical when parents share time with their child or children at a fifty-fifty ratio. Yet whenever a parent (father or otherwise) who has limited custody begins to take care of their child away from the other parent, they begin to think that one day their child will have the primary residence in their own home. This creates a two-family duality for children who struggle to be able to understand it.
Child Development
During the ages of nine to twelve, before a child enters into puberty but after they begin school and develop a sense of friends and community, parents may struggle with the questions of who deserves greater or lesser custody. Children themselves may desire equal time with both parents, sometimes in the hope of resolving differences between parents and sometimes in the hopes that their treatment with one parent will be superior to the other — especially in the instance where one parent spoils the child to a greater degree than the other.
Making a Change
Nearly all divorced couples will have to face a difficult decision about changing their custody concerns. Children may want to enter into the home or school of their non-primary parent; they may wish to be closer to the parent of their gender; they may also desire that their siblings join the “new family” as well. Some parents are unable to accept or reconcile these wishes and the relationship between primary parent and child suffers. Facing changes in relationships and discussing options helps both parents and children to understand the importance of family structures rather than create static environments that lead to unhappiness.
Whenever you are looking for solutions to your divorce law problems, whether they are financial or family related, using the services of Fine & Associates Toronto Family Law and Divorce lawyers allows you to get a step up and find assistance in what will be a particularly unpleasant chapter of your life.