Best Way To Divorce With Children

Divorce is more difficult when children are involved, but there is a lot you can do to help children cope with divorce. If you are a parent going through divorce and have been dealing with a divorce lawyer, you are probably worried about the effects it could have on your children. Children’s emotions could go through different stages; they feel sad and worried about what could happen to them. Providing hope, reassurance and a sense of stability can help ease the effects of divorce on children. How children react to divorce will depend on their age, maturity, personality and circumstances of the divorce. Below are tips a family law attorney found to help minimize the negative effects of divorce on your children.

When should you tell the Children about the Impending Divorce?

If the children have knowledge of the impending divorce, it’s best to be honest with them. If you deny it and it eventually happens, you may destroy your children’s trust. On the other hand, you can take time to gather enough information needed to answer the questions effectively.

How do you tell the Children?

If it’s possible, it’s best for both parents to tell children together. You can tell them after both of you have had enough time to recover from the initial impact of the divorce. This could be a very difficult moment but both parents should try to keep their composure. Choose an ideal place to tell them of the impending divorce. It should be a private place where they can feel free to express their emotions and ask questions. The amount of information you give will depend on your children’s age.

What should you tell Your Children?

Children are more discerning than you may actually think. They will want to know how the divorce will affect them. Will they have to move?  Will they be going for vacations? Can they keep their pets? Will they change schools? Parents should be ready to explain to their children how divorce will affect their day to day lives. However, keep your children’s age in mind when deciding how much to tell them.

Reassure your children that you still love them and that you will continue to provide for them. You should also let them know that they are not the cause for divorce. Explain to them that it’s an adult problem and there was nothing they could do to prevent it.

How will my Children React?

Children have different personalities, so they will react differently. Some children will experience fear, anger, grief and sadness. Most of them tend to keep these feelings to themselves because they do not want to burden their parents. Although your children may seem to have little reaction to your divorce, make sure they see a mental health professional. Warning signs that your child is having a hard time coping with the divorce include:

• Poor school performance
• Aggression or withdrawal
• Sadness
• Frequent crying spells
• Trouble at school

What can you do to ease your Children’s Pain?

Keep your routines as normal as possible. If the wife or husband has moved out, he or she should continue to be involved in activities they shared. Frequent visits and continued traditions will be helpful to the children.

Explain to your children that divorce is final; when you imply that divorce is not certain, you are giving them hope where there is none. Your children will keep hoping that you and your partner will reconcile. This will also delay their grieving process; hence they will remain in a painful period for a long time.