Do You Need a Lawyer for Your Separation? Pros, Cons, and Practical Tips

If you’re going through a separation on the way to a divorce, you’ve probably wondered: “Do I actually need a lawyer for this early stage, or can I handle things myself?”

It’s a fair question.

Lawyers can seem intimidating (and, let’s be honest, expensive), and there’s a lot you might feel comfortable sorting out on your own. But deciding whether or not to get legal help during your separation phase (as opposed to your divorce process) is something worth thinking about carefully. Let’s unpack this together.

When You Probably Should Hire a Lawyer

Let’s start with situations where it’s definitely a smart move to get legal advice. If your separation involves any of the following, you’ll want to at least speak to a family lawyer for guidance:

• Children: Custody, parenting schedules, and child support can get complicated fast. A lawyer helps ensure the arrangements are clear, fair, and legal.
• Significant assets or debts: If you own a home, run a business, have investments or pensions, or face significant debt, the financial stakes are high. You’ll want professional help to ensure the split is fair and clear.
• Conflict or communication issues: If you and your ex-partner aren’t able to communicate productively, or things feel tense or volatile, a lawyer can ease the process and keep interactions professional and productive.
• Imbalance of power or abuse: If there’s been emotional, physical, or financial abuse, or if your spouse is controlling, a lawyer can protect your rights and safety.

Even if none of these apply to you, a consultation with a lawyer to understand your rights and options is usually a good investment.

What Exactly Do Lawyers Do in Separation?

A good Family Lawyer wears several different “hats” during your separation. Here are some of the ways they can help you:

• Providing clear, straightforward advice: Your lawyer will explain exactly what your rights are, what you’re entitled to, and what to expect going forward.
• Drafting separation agreements: This document records the agreements you and your spouse have reached about children, property, and support. It’s not just a formality—it’s a legally binding roadmap of your post-separation life, and ultimately helps inform the way your divorce will play out. Lawyers make sure the wording is precise and covers all necessary issues clearly.
• Negotiating on your behalf: A lawyer acts as your advocate, helping reach a settlement that’s fair and protects your interests. This can save a lot of stress and emotional energy.
• Handling paperwork and court procedures: In Ontario, the Family justice system has plenty of required procedures and calls for keen attention to detail. Your lawyer navigates the red tape for you, ensuring everything gets filed and done correctly.

Pros of Hiring a Lawyer for Your Separation

• Peace of mind: Knowing someone experienced is handling things allows you to focus on yourself, your kids, and moving forward.
• Legal accuracy: Avoiding mistakes means fewer problems later on. Errors or omissions in a separation agreement can be costly, and complicated to fix.
• Fair outcomes: Lawyers help you understand what’s reasonable, and can ensure neither of you is taken advantage of by the other.
• Less direct conflict: With lawyers involved, you don’t have to personally negotiate sensitive issues with your ex-partner, which can lower stress and emotion.

The Potential Cons

• Cost: Lawyers are not cheap, and costs can vary widely. Experienced family lawyers in Ontario generally charge by the hour, although some offer what are known as “unbundled” services (also known as “limited scope retainers”). This allows lawyers to represent you on piecemeal or per-task basis.
• Less control: Having a lawyer involved means relying on someone else to speak for you, and sometimes you may feel less directly involved or “in charge” of the situation.
• Potential for escalation: Occasionally, involving lawyers can actually heighten conflict, particularly if your ex-partner takes it as a sign you’re preparing for a fight. Clear communication about why you’re hiring a lawyer can help mitigate this risk.

Can You Handle It Yourself?

Maybe your situation is straightforward—few assets, no kids, friendly communication, and both sides want a quick, amicable resolution. In these cases, it’s possible to handle your own separation. You can even try drafting an agreement yourselves, and then simply each hire a lawyer to review and refine it before signing. This can save money while still giving you peace of mind.

But be cautious: if anything about your separation seems complicated, unclear, or stressful, at least talk to a lawyer first. Getting it right the first time is always better than trying to correct costly mistakes later.

Bottom Line: Is it Wise to Hire a Lawyer?

It really depends on your unique circumstances. If there’s complexity, conflict, children, property, or any potential for abuse or an imbalance of power, then it’s vital for each of you to have a lawyer by your side. Your lawyer will protect your individual interests, and help you navigate difficult, emotional issues with clarity and confidence.

If your separation is simple and amicable, it can make sense to handle some things yourself to keep costs down, bringing in separate lawyers just for the final review of any agreement you and your spouse may have drafted.

Either way, knowing your options and rights is powerful. Talking with a lawyer—at least briefly—can give you clarity and confidence, no matter what you ultimately decide.