Getting Kids Out Of The Cross Fire

As traumatic as Divorce may be for the parents involved – it still does not come close to the trauma that the children experience during this entire process. The children caught in the process of litigation and custody matters often suffer mixed emotions and this in return affects them in many areas of their life. Aside from being exposed to parental anger and stress during the parenting dispute, children may also be forced to choose one parent over the other in some way.

The Negative Effects of the Parental Dispute on Children

Children go through many emotions during the entire litigation process. However, none of them are good or necessary. Children are dependent on their parents for love and security as well as keeping them safe. Children also get their identity from both parents. So if one parent is made out to be “bad”, the child ultimately gets the impression that they are half “bad” as well. This now robs the child of confidence and self-worth. Also, when a child feels that either parent may be threatened – it leaves them with feelings of anxiety.

Many children who are caught in the cross fire of the litigation process experience problems at school. Children who have been progressing normally with regards to the curriculum are suddenly diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Parents should therefore never underestimate the seriousness of the negative impacts of the divorce process on children. This problem with concentration stems from the child’s distress and cannot be associated with the structural living situation of the child.

Prolonging the Litigation Process

Throughout this despicable process, parents are constantly trying to paint the other out to be the bad person. In support of this – they try to involve as many friends and family members as they possibly can. Children are also now forced to agree with wither parents and ruthlessly takes sides. If the child doesn’t, they are made to feel rejected and their entire world of safety and security tends to collapse. This directly affects the emotionally stability and well being of the child. In cases where the child is very young – but toilet trained – they tend to begin soiling themselves. These are all results of emotional trauma.

How to Get Kids Out of the Cross Fire?

Each individual Toronto family lawyer at Fine & Associates will be able to assist you, no matter how big the problem may be. Divorce lawyers come in all shapes and sizes, so choose one that fits your needs.

Try not to intentionally provoke the each other as this causes negative emotional intensity and is not good for the children. Consider mediation as a quicker  alternative to litigation. Assessment can also be used as a last resort – if all else fails. Children are unwilling parties in parenting disputes and should be kept out of the cross fire at all costs. Parents should always consider a child’s psychological vulnerability before letting their emotions get the best of them.