How to Have a Happy Second Marriage
Research has proven that couples in a second marriage are less likely to divorce because they benefit from the experiences they had with the first marriage. Couples in a second marriage are older, more mature and ready to commit. However, this does not mean that a second marriage will definitely last. This is because it’s easy to carry relationship patterns over from one marriage to another. If you are considering a fresh start, here are tips for a happy second marriage.
Outline Mistakes in the First Marriage
You have to admit your first marriage was a failure and you can’t put all the blame on your ex-spouse or the divorce lawyer or family lawyer. You have to be willing to take some of the blame for what went wrong with your first marriage. By understanding your own history and seeking to learn from your partner’s, you will stop or avoid repeating the same mistakes. Talking about your past, fears, guilt or jealousies will help you understand each other better.
Confront the Ghosts of Past Relationships
If you have been divorced, you may be afraid to commit to a new marriage because you are afraid that it may turn out as the first. You clearly know the reality of lost love, mistrust and betrayal. Women who have been widowed may feel guilty because they may find themselves comparing their new partner with their previous partner. In this case, it would be advisable to give yourself time to grieve before moving on.
Make Effort to Please Your Partner
Most couples make the mistake of abandoning their courtship behavior once they get married. You should continue doing all the nice little things you did for one another like sending flowers, cooking favorite dishes and massages. Don’t forget to compliment your loved one or say thank you.
Share Your Dreams and Goals
Discussing hot issues such as money, intimacy and the wedding in advance will give you a chance to see how things may eventually work out. Making assumptions about what the other person wants can lead to conflict. Therefore, learn to express your feelings, thoughts and wishes in a respectful manner. Do not bottle negative feelings because it could build resentment.
Make Your Sex Life a Priority
Make sure you have an open communication on sexual issues. A great and fulfilling sexual life will cement the security of your relationship. Take time as a couple to do things you enjoy without your children such as a date night or a weekend getaway.
Be Open to Change
People have different ways of doing things or handling certain things. Practice patience when you differ in certain areas for example child rearing; be open to learn new strategies and share your ideas. Bear in mind that there will be ups and downs, so try to be understanding with each other.
If you have undergone divorce, you know too well the pain that comes with the loss of love. Divorce has a way of putting things in perspective and appreciating what you have at the moment.