Helping Your Kids Adjust To Separation
Helping your kids adjust to separation should be your first priority, if you plan to divorce. The truth is that children and parents are affected by this big change. While most parents like to keep a stiff upper lip, the final act of separation is emotionally tasking. This is time to start a new chapter of your life as a family, albeit not being able to see your children on a full-time basis. There will be a sense of loss that many parents will find overwhelming.
During the first few days or weeks without the company of their children, many parents find themselves in a restless state. They may feel agitated. Some may have trouble sleeping and eating as well. It is normal to feel tearful, even with the slightest bit of provocation. During this period of adjustment, many find solace chatting with their friends or a counselor and perhaps, even crying over a mug of beer.
Helping Kids Adjust to Separation is Important
However, many parents are so caught up in their desolate state and forget that their children are going through the same thing. A child may have trouble eating or sleeping. He or she may find it hard to concentrate at school. A child may show signs of agitation, anxiousness and depression.
Most parents argue that the child’s adjustment should be considered when coming up with a feasible parenting plan. However, many should consider that these ploys may be pointed out just to lessen time away from their children and help them deal with their emotional adjustment.
The first strategy is to let time heal all wounds. Parents must understand that the adjustment process is normal. They need to learn that time allows old habits to fade away and lets new habits take their place. These new habits help both parents and children cope with the change, especially when it comes to living arrangements.
The second strategy is to accept or acknowledge the struggle. No one has to feel bad about being sad. The only way to help your child through this rough patch is by acknowledging that you feel the same way. It is also important for parents to help their child through this period without burdening them even more with their emotional issues. Use your experience to validate what the child feels.
Talking to someone is the third strategy in coping. Converse with a counselor, a family member or friend. While we cannot change the circumstances, it is important to find a safe place to let the pain out. The process of acknowledging that you are upset can help relieve the emotional burden and pain.
The fourth strategy would be to discuss the period of adjustment with the other parent. You may find that tinkering with the parenting plan, albeit on a temporary basis, can relieve the emotional stress. Mutual attendance at extra-curricular activities, visits and having new pictures taken can ease the pain as well.
Separation is an emotional process that takes time. However, in time, you will be able to ease into the changes. If you are interested in the process of family law or filing for a separation, contact Fine & Associates Toronto divorce lawyers.