How a Child’s Opinion Influences Child Custody Cases

Occasionally, parents cite their child’s opinion in residency, access and custody cases, in the hope that this might sway the verdict. On other occasions, the child might want to state their opinion themselves. A child’s opinion might be based on parental conflicts, wanting to be near their friends, or the desire to avoid certain parental discipline (if one of the parents is less strict than another). Hence, often, children wonder whether their opinion counts for anything in these cases as well.

Normal Custody Decision Practices

Typically, residency, access and custody decisions are decided by the parents. Whenever they fail to reach an agreement between themselves, they might consult a counselor for help. Should that fail to produce a resolution, they might consult a mediator. If that does not work, they might go to court. In terms of the child’s opinion, older children have more of a say than younger children in who they live with.

Frequently, the age of 12 is regarded as the point at which the child’s opinion can start to have some influence in these matters. Nonetheless, this is not always the case. The child’s maturity, the specific circumstances and the wishes of the parents will play a large part too, along with the child’s needs and the ability of each parent to fulfill those needs adequately. Thus, being underage, the decision is still made by adults, whether it is the professionals, the courts or the parents. At Fine & Associates, we help all the family come through hard times during a separation.

Don’t Involve the Kids

In every case, parents are advised not to involve their children in residency, access or custody decisions. If a parent does influence their child, their child might feel constrained and unable to escape their influence. Also, the child may not wish to harm their relationship with their other parent. Thus, trying to influence children simply contributes to their emotional and psychological turmoil, living in between separate parents. Under these conditions, parents have to question whether their actions are for the benefit of their child, or for themselves.

From the perspective of the child, there could be all manner of genuine reasons for altering their living arrangements between their divorced parents. Notwithstanding, the child will not be informed about how the residency, access or custody decisions were made in the 1st instance. Thus, usually, they will not have a full understanding of the circumstances. As a result, whilst children might be given the chance to express their feelings, it is still down to the parents to negotiate and come to a decision about child custody.

When your kids are affected by the divorce law process, you need a well experienced family law lawyer to ensure the best result for your family.