How Low-Conflict Divorces Affect Children

Many people believe that children are negatively impacted by divorces only if their parents are constantly arguing. However, that is not true. Even if the parents do not argue a-lot, the children could still be affected in a negative way. Many children are surprised to find out that their parents are divorcing because conflict in the home was limited.

Couples at Risk of Getting a Divorce

Some couples who do not argue frequently may be at a greater risk for getting a divorce. Couples with few ties to the community, emotional distance from their families and lower religious participation or affiliation are examples of people who are at a greater risk for getting a divorce.

The reason that these couples are at a greater risk for getting a divorce is because they have few ties to hold them together. People who do not have a-lot of support from their family members and friends may not be as motivated to work on their marriage. Once the couple has separated, they may not have a support system to help the children cope with the changes.

Children whose parents were low-conflict prior to the divorce have a harder time adjusting. They also have a harder time believing or trusting others. They say things such as, “I did not see it coming, or “My parents got along and now they are divorced, what can I expect from my own marriage?”

How Divorce Affects Children

As these children get older and begin having their own relationships and eventually get married, they may think that their marriage is trouble even when they face innocuous events. This can be very harmful for a marriage. They may think that a separation is the best way to deal with common marital issues.

Preparing Children For a Marital Separation

Low-conflict parents who are contemplating ending their marriage should prepare their children. This will require a-lot of patience because it will take time for the children to process the information. Parents should not overwhelm their children with information about the marriage, but they should help the children understand that problems do exist.

Most children will react negatively. Some children will act out their feelings aggressively while others will try to mask their feelings. Family counseling can be very beneficial. The goal of family counseling is to  help make this adjustment a-lot easier. It also allows family members to express the way that they are feeling without feeling judged.

Parents who are thinking about ending their marriage should seek marital counseling. Counseling can help couples deal with the issues that are destroying the marriage.

How We Can Help

Going through a divorce can be a traumatic experience. Going through the legal system without a team of qualified family lawyers can be even more stressful. If you need a divorce lawyer in Toronto or the surrounding area, please give us a call.