How to Cope With Marital Separation
Marital separation can be many things. It can be a cooling off period, a time to get some space or even a precursor to divorce. Above all else, though, it is a confusing and often frightening time during which many are left at wit’s end. If you want to make it through a separation, you need to find a way to cope. If you want to keep yourself centered, try following the three pieces of advice below.
Learn to Be Alone
Getting separated is not an excuse to start dating. Nor is it an excuse to put yourself into major social situations. Instead, it is a time during which you can learn more about yourself and look back at your former relationship. Take the time to learn how to be alone, and you may find that many of the problems that you have experienced during your relationship will suddenly become less severe. While there is nothing wrong with starting your life again, the primary person you need to focus on in this situation is yourself.
Remain Amicable
One major mistake that people make when getting separated is to immediately go on the defensive. Your partner is not your ex, and he or she is certainly not your enemy. The worst thing that you can do is to begin to act negatively towards the other person in the situation. Not only is he or she experiencing many of the same problems that you are experiencing, but he or she is very much a person with whom you will have to deal with in the future. You need to start laying the groundwork for an amicable, if not perfect, relationship in the future.
Avoid Making Quick Decisions When Separated
If you do nothing else when you are separated, you absolutely must learn how to slow down. Your immediate response will usually be to try to rush into a decision about where your future is going – whether to get back together or go forward with a divorce. In reality, you need to slow down and really think through the process. A separation is not something you can speed through. You have chosen to separate because you need time to think, and that is a decision that you must try your best to honor.
If you are going through a separation, do your very best to make the best of it. While the process is never fun, you might learn something. Your future is up in the air, and you do have a chance to change things to your liking. Do what you can to improve yourself during your marital separation, and you might like the outcome in the future.
Going through a divorce can be a traumatic experience. Going through the legal system without a team of qualified family lawyers can be even more stressful. If you need a divorce lawyer in Toronto or the surrounding area, please give us a call.