How to Deal With Parental Conflict

Every parent wants to be the best parent possible. The challenge can be very overwhelming! Parents are in a constant struggle to provide consistent and quality parenting as well as be productive providers for their children. Parental conflict arises in a couple of instances. The personal parental conflict is the individual emotional conflict of not being able to spend enough time with the child, not being able to provide enough for the child, and not being able to have the flexibility to spend time with the children as they grow up.

Another parental conflict can occur when the challenge of providing the needs of the child versus providing the desires of the child. Many parents feel that giving the child what they want will compensate for giving them what they need. This emotional roller coaster started by feelings of anxiety produced by not spending quality time with the child, can lead to disastrous parental conflict in the future. This can be remedied by providing a healthy balance of need and desire for the child. Easier said than done, right? Certainly, but with care and research by talking with other parents, this balance can be obtained and be a healthy solution for both parent and child.

A very rapid and increasing parental conflict in society today is co-parenting. This type of parenting is the result of a divorce or separation by the parents. The parents come to the realization and conclusion that the child needs both parents regardless of the parents and their relationship with each other. The parental conflict can arise on a barrage of issues such as a nanny for the infants, the choice of school for the school age children, the choice of school and/or college for the teens and the list goes on!

How to Avoid Parental Conflict

Parental conflict can’t be avoided in some cases because each parent has a specific opinion or plan in mind for the child. There can be a solution reached that is amicable by both parents if the parents are willing to discuss and negotiate the parameters of interaction relative to the child, and the best solution for the child. The solution may not be easy, but for the good of the child and/or children, the parents must decide to sacrifice and come to an agreement which will benefit all concerned.

When deciding on a plan for the good of the child and or children,  try and put emotion in the background. After all, the good of the child and what is best for the child is the priority. Emotion can cause bad decision making. Even though it is hard to do and accept, please try and look at things from more than one point. These tips can help in dealing with parental conflict:

• Objectivity
• Sensitivity
• Empathy
• Communication

Objectivity

Parents must try and look and the situation at hand and use objectivity in reviewing the facts in dealing with the children.

Sensitivity

Parents must be sensitive to the emotional state of the child/and or children. Keeping a calm demeanor, looking at all parameters of care for the kids and examining all possible solutions for the good of the kids must be the emphasis.

Empathy

Parents need to try and be empathetic towards each other and the child/and or children in a state of conflict. Understanding the emotion turmoil and the impact it has and is having on the family unit must be considered.

Communication

Make sure that communication is clear and done consistently. Failure to communicate effectively can prove disastrous to everyone! Let the child and/or children know in word and deed that their happiness and their well-being is the primary concern. The kids will see this when the parents start to display it to them and they will understand.

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