What if You Have to Move Back in With Your Parents After Divorce

Divorce can sometimes feel like a step back, especially if you have to move back in with your parents; however, you can use this as an opportunity to strengthen the significant relationships that remain in your life as you reorient yourself.

Here are some tips for how to manage your new situation to make things easier for yourself and your parents:

1.Figure out the financial details as soon as possible

Will you be paying rent? Buying groceries? Determine how you can help each other. If your divorce has left you with too little money to contribute to the household financially, what else could you do to help your parents out? Mutual support is key.

2. Set boundaries

You’re no longer a child under your parents’ roof, and you may have a child of your own.

As Chantal Saville outlines in an article for Today’s Parent, child-rearing can get complicated when when your parents get involved on a daily basis: “[A]s Mom reminds me regularly, ‘You have a roof over your head, food on your plate and wine in your glass. What else do you want?’ Well, what I wanted was to agree on how to manage my child.”

And dating as a divorced person living under your parents’ roof can be tricky enough without your parents complaining about unexpected company or a late night.

Just because you’ll be under your parents’ roof doesn’t mean they can set all the rules; similarly, you want to make your return as stress-free for your parents as possible. Make sure you sit down and outline how everyone feels about things like household chores, overnight guests, and child discipline. If writing it all down helps, do it.

3. Remember that you’re family

As much as this new arrangement is going to be difficult now that you’re used to living separately, your parents have let you move back in because they love and support you. When living with your parents again becomes tense, try to step back and remind each other that you care about each other. Set up some time for family bonding; this is a great time to reconnect if you’ve all been too busy to maintain consistent contact.

4. Try to see your situation as an opportunity

You are doing what you have to in order to get back on your feet after a challenging setback. You can bounce back, and there’s no shame in getting a little help along the way. As Pari Chang writes for Self about living with her mom post-divorce, “I cover this familiar ground, finally refocused on what matters. Loved ones. My independence. A roof over our head. Finding my voice. Finding my way.”

No one should be expected to get through a divorce alone, and family is a valuable source of support.

Enlist the services of a professional divorce lawyer

If you and your spouse are at the point of no return, and a legal process is the course of action you’re choosing, an experienced divorce attorney might cost a bit more up front, but save you money in the long run.   Any price you invest will easily pay for itself when it comes to insuring the outcome that is best for you, and if applicable, your children.

At Fine & Associates Professional Corporation, we have helped guide countless families through the often arduous process of a legal battle over children, property and possessions.  Learn more about how we can help, and contact us to set up a free private consultation.