These Myths About Divorce Just Aren’t True

As it is with all human endeavors, the ways a situation appears to proceed – and how it actually does proceed – can be radically different experiences. The same dichotomy holds true of divorce. There are the things we believe are true, and there are times those assumptions fall flat. When it comes to divorce, here are the top 5 myths that aren’t true:

1) Confidentiality clauses are ironclad protections

Intended as a “protective clause” in an agreement aimed at preventing a spouse from revealing information about their spouse or details of a divorce, these attempts often fail. In this modern world, there’s nowhere to hide and no detail is safe from scrutiny. If one spouse wishes to reveal information, though it would violate the confidentiality provision in an agreement, they often work out a way around the agreement. Later enforcement won’t fix the damage done, and fixing blame after the fact is a losing-sum game.

2) My lawyer can find every dime of hidden money

This divorce myth is just not true. A husband or wife intent on secreting away money to prepare for a divorce is capable of some astonishing tricks. You’ll need to be realistic in your expectations and understand that the most that can be hoped for is an equitable result.

3) A divorce doesn’t mean you have to go broke

While contentious issues in a divorce case can cause the costs to rise at an alarming rate, it may be the small details that take up the lion’s share of your lawyers’ billable time. There can certainly be a “blunt instrument,” but most of the effort – some of it difficult and unpleasant – is taken care of well before the final decree.

4) You can leave all the details to the lawyers

This one is utterly false. In the ideal world, you could simply pay one lawyer to do everything necessary in a divorce case. In that golden world, both of the litigants could rise above the din and stand on the sidelines as the mess is resolved. But it’s not that way in the real world. Divorce is a deeply human, intimate endeavor, and that means a couple will have to engage to settle some very charged, and often highly emotional issues. There are painful memories to be dealt with and critical issues to be resolved, and no attorney can take care of them without guidance.

5) The details of a divorce settlement can be worked out later

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Divorce is a complex, often painful, process of deconstruction. But it’s not like demolishing a kitchen. While the people involved are generally in a hurry to wrap up a divorce and move on, they often suffer from the naïve belief that they can put off the most difficult conversations until a later date. They want to move forward, and they can think it will be a simple matter to revisit the details at some time in the future. While your lawyer may tell you, and correctly, that in some cases talks can be re-opened (perhaps regarding details such as child custody considerations or child support payments) that’s not always the case. Sometimes what’s done is done and it can be difficult to go back and change a settlement.

 

If you believe you can intimidate your soon-to-ex into caving in to your demands, you are sadly mistaken. Terror tactics and outrageous demands don’t cause people to give up, they often cause them to dig in their heels and resist. The singular most common human reaction to threats, aside from an initial fear, is to resist and fight back.

 

In the long run, it’s better to be prepared and take the proper steps with a qualified attorney from Fine & Associates. That’s the best way to getting the most reliable legal advice and get your divorce settled as peacefully and efficiently as possible.