Normal Child Behavior Is Often Misconstrued

Sigmund Freud, who is considered one of the pioneers of modern psychology, once stated that “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Far too many child incidents and behaviors are labeled as odd, and they are simply within the range of normal childhood development. However, when a child’s parents are going through a high conflict divorce, this explanation can be transplanted with extraordinary theories and suspicions.

Normal Child Development- The Toddler Years

During the toddler ages, children begin to explore their bodies. They are in the toilet training stage, so it is natural for them to be curious about their bodies. In intact families, parents usually encourage their children to stop playing with their bodies or reserve the behavior for the appropriate place and time. However, when the parents are going through a divorce, it is easy for people to say that the child’s behavior is due to the wrongdoing of one of the parents. One parent may also accuse the other one of sexually abusing the child.

The Preschool Years

Children are very active during the preschool years. They may hurt themselves while they are playing, which is why bumped heads, bruises and broken arms are common. This can create problems for people who are going through a high conflict divorce. One parent may be falsely accused of physically abusing the child.

School Aged Development

During the school-aged years, children want to assert their independence. They may tell their parents that they should be allowed to do certain things because the other children at school are doing them. They may also tell one parent about how the other parent allows them to do certain things. In intact families, it is very easy for the parent to check with the other one to find out if what the child is saying is true. However, during a high conflict divorce, one parent may automatically believe what the child is saying.

Normal childhood events typically do not escalate with drama and suspicion in intact families. Issues can be dealt with appropriately. On the other hand, normal childhood behavior can cause suspicion in separated families. One parent can use a normal incident to say that the other one is not fit to parent. The child is caught in the middle of the chaos, and as a result, the behavior will begin to escalate. That is why a good assessment is so important. The assessor will determine whether the child’s behavior is normal or caused by the wrongdoing of another person.

How Our Lawyers Can Help

If you are going through a divorce, then you should contact our Toronto divorce lawyers. Fine & Associates is a respected Toronto law firm with family lawyers that specialize in both divorce law and family law. Call us at 1 (416) 238-9615 for a consultation.