Ontario Parenting Plans – High, Mid & Low Level Conflicts

There are many messages that kids get throughout the life.  Perhaps the most frequent are the imperatives to get along with one another, to share their toys, to not hit or use bad language, and to be fair.  From this perspective, it can be extremely difficult for children to understand how parents argue and split up.  In the event of a divorce, children wish first for parents to reconcile and get back together; then they wish for their parents to get along even if they cannot be together; finally they simply wish that their parents not meet anymore to avoid fighting.  The level of conflict in a relationship (or a failed relationship) will determine how children view their parents.

Low Conflict

In the event that a child’s parents can get along reasonably well, to the point of living in the same house, they get their wish that their parents stay together and view few problems.  Parents view their relationship as quarrelsome or troublesome, but since children rarely see the sparks fly, they adjust and are happier.

Mid-Level Conflicts

When parents cannot get along but can still be civil enough to have conversations, even if the conversations are full of snide or underhanded comments, children only wish that their parents are able to get along.  They may not be able to understand cynicism, but can tell from the inflection in their parents’ voices that all is not well.  In this event, kids hope that their parents can be neighbors even if they cannot live in the same roof, and imagine being able to walk from one parent to the other.

High Level Conflicts

Truly dysfunctional relationships produce so much tension and anger that even young kids can feel it.  Whether parents always resort to shouting matches or when there are instances of drug and alcohol abuses, children wish that their parents separate since they cannot reconcile.  The idea that the house is not big enough for the two of them is quite real in a child’s mind.

When you need professional assistance with your Parenting Plans, we at Fine & Associates can help you. We specialize in Toronto family law and divorce law. Our specialized Family lawyers has the expertise required to represent you in a court of law.