Reconciliation Counseling Takes Two

Sometimes couples find themselves on two different sides of what seems like an impossible divide. Their relationship may be fractured from past transgressions, suffer from the resentment held by one or both parties or they may have two completely different viewpoints about their current situation.

Reconciliation Counseling

In many of these cases, they enter into reconciliation counseling as a last ditch effort to heal their relationship. Usually, this process is championed by one party, who believes that through counseling their partner will realize their wrongs, make amends and change in order to save the relationship. Even in cases where both partners decide counseling can benefit their relationship, there is often an expectation that the other partner will be the one who is required to change.

Reconciliation counseling, however, is not about the past. By the time couples turn to counseling, most of them are too resentful about the past to ever agree on a viewpoint. Instead, this type of counseling encourages couples to accept that they have had issues in the past, but to look toward the future.

The Purpose of Reconciliation Counseling

Instead of focusing on resolving issues that have already done damage to the relationship, these sessions help to reestablish the relationship and to set new rules for handing future disagreements. These rules are not built on trust, which, as one would assume, is often lacking at this point in a relationship. Instead, they are designed to mitigate the emotional risks of a faltering relationship and give both partners time to rebuild their trust.

That’s not to say that reconciliation counseling offers an easy way to fix a relationship. In fact, the process is often arduous, and can be painful as each partner confronts both their own fault in the relationship breakdown and the dashed expectations they had of the perfect marriage.

Each partner will continue to attempt to justify their lack of trust in the other, and will continue to be hypersensitive to the other’s words and actions until they gain enough strength to take a risk and trust the other. Once the trust begins to return, setbacks and breeches of the trust should be expected. It is in this way, however, that relationships can be reestablished and strengthened.

How long this takes, or if it will eventually be successful in repairing the relationship, is dependent on many factors. In the end, it is impossible to predict if counseling will be successful or not. Much of this depends on how strongly the couple is committed to saving their relationship, and each individual’s willingness to change for the sake of their future happiness. If one or both parties refuse to fully engage in the reconciliation process, then there is little hope for salvaging the relationship.

If you need more information about the reconciliation process our family lawyers will be glad to answer any questions you have. Fine & Associates Toronto Divorce lawyers will go the extra mile to meet all of your family or divorce law needs.