What to Do When Your Spouse has an Ashley Madison Profile
Ashley Madison has become the household name for unfaithfulness, with the site proudly proclaiming that it is “the most famous name in infidelity and married dating.” And as you may have heard, is the cause of some recent divorces.
So it is understandable to be concerned if you find out that your spouse has a profile on the website. But what should you do?
1. Prove it
First, secure your evidence. This may sound cold, but it’s important to have proof for many reasons.
Firstly, you want to be sure it’s your spouse and not someone with the same name et cetera, before you become too emotionally invested in the implications. Secondly, you want to have proof so a nervous spouse can’t evade the truth.
Finally, if it turns out that your partner has been cheating on you (which may not be the case!) and you choose to separate, you will want the evidence in your hands. Hopefully the situation won’t come to that, but it’s a possibility you need to be prepared for.
2. Give them a chance to explain
It’s important to find out why they made the account; the act may have been based more on uncertainty about your relationship or curiosity than the intent to cheat.
Regardless, having this conversation is important both to help you deal with your own feelings and to discover what motivated your partner.
3. Throughout all of this, remember to take care of yourself.
This information is going to cause some emotional upheaval no matter what, so letting yourself feel your feelings and seeking support when you need it is key.
4. If you both still want to work past this, commit to working together.
If your spouse isn’t willing to work to fix the situation, it isn’t healthy to stay as you are; you both need to want to look at your relationship, possibly with the help of a therapist, and change whatever caused your spouse to create an account.
Do not let your partner dismiss your concerns.
5. Or start to think about the possibility of divorce
The evidence of your spouse’s profile will now become important for legal reasons. Ensure that you are guided by a qualified legal representative who can help you through this challenging time.