Working Together After a Separation

One of the mistakes that people make when working with parents who are going through a separation is trying to make them get along for the sake of the children. While it may seem like a good idea to try to get the conflicting parents to work together, many people think that the best way to resolve a conflict is to avoid the other person. The conflict will most likely become more intense if the two people are constantly pushed together.

The Child’s Best Interest

Most parents agree that they will try to keep things peaceful for the sake of the children. However, many people are unable to keep things civil. They constantly argue and complain about each other. In many cases, the best interest of the child is superseded by the selfish interests of the parent.

Children who are around parents who constantly argue will most likely be affected in a negative way. Restless nights, tummy aches and poor concentration at school are just a few of the many negative effects that frequent conflicts can have on children. Cooperative parenting only works if the parents are able to get along with each other. That is why if the parents cannot get along, then they should be kept apart as much as possible.

Raising the Child

Both parents should set clear and consistent rules for the child. As long as there is not any abuse or neglect taking place, each parent is free to raise the child according to his or her customs and styles. Many people argue that different parenting styles will confuse the child, but it is important to remember that children adjust to many behavioral styles and expectations.

For example, children learn that they cannot run around a pool deck, but they can run on a soccer field. They also learn that some teachers require that students raise their hands to ask a question, but others encourage students to speak up and assert themselves. Therefore, children do learn different behavioral expectations from various people in their life. Conflict occurs when one person tries to tell another how to set expectations. Teachers have different teaching styles, and parents have different parenting styles.

Communication

Even though the parents should try to stay away from each other, it is important for them to communicate. They will most likely need a parenting coordinator. The parents can communicate via email and send a copy of the emails to the parenting coordinator.

How We Can Help

If you are going through a separation, our Toronto family lawyers can help you. We are a respected law firm in Toronto that only specializes in family and divorce law. Call us at 1 (647) 428-2974 for a free phone consultation.